The ImPerFecT DaUgHtEr!!

Posted: September 27, 2017 in Life, Loss, Love, Peace, Writing
Tags: , , , , ,

Do you feel lost sometimes?

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The world is a weird place, here, no matter how unimportant or unwanted you feel you are, you will still hold a place somewhere.

And not just a place, you will play a crucial role in somebody’s life. Each and every one of us are brought to this earth with a motive, a purpose to fulfill.

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We always wonder why some people come into our lives but just for sometime and then they disappear.

The reason is that either us or them, we both needed something from the other. We needed to learn something from them and so did they. Once that is accomplished, we see them no more in our lives.

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   Life isn’t easy and it will never be. When we were given this life, nobody said that it will be a garden of roses or a bed of thorns. But it was for sure that the mankind would see best of both the worlds just to realize their importance.

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I lost the most important person in my life, i lost the man who showed me this world. The person who showed me the real world and the real faces. I lost my Father, my only support, the only source in my life on which i could rely and look up to when i would be down or low.

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Whatever i am today and where i am today, its solely because of that man, who at every point of his life sacrificed every little thing he had. Every single penny he saved working hard in his life, he spent on us, on his kids so that we would never have to struggle like he did.

I MISS HIM, there is a hole inside, an emptiness inside me. I want to cry out and hug him and tell him that i am sorry for all the times i had ever hurt him. For all the times, i could not tell him that what he meant to me and how much i loved him.

How do i accept this fact that he’s not around anymore?

Everyday i miss how he would call me every single day no matter which part of the world i was in. Even when i was living with them, sometimes he would just call me to ask if i have reached office or when i would be coming home from work.

And he would just not call me but also he would call my brother and my sister everyday.

Who does that? Who loves you like that?

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NOBODY

Trust me, nobody loves me like that, not even my mother. Her love is way different.

He was my protector, he was the only man in my life i ever looked up to when i had any troubles.

Can anyone believe, he was a kind of father who had allowed me to do every silliest of things one could imagine.

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When i would be getting ready for work in morning, then i would ask him to iron my clothes and he would be so happy to do that for me.

He would put oil in my hair at nights and give me head massages whenever i would say.

When i would want to go for shopping with my mother and she would throw tantrums then he would be ready to accompany me and would say that you leave your mother back home and we two will go.

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He taught me how to drive, even when i had a car accident, he was the one to say don’t you worry about car baby, we will fix it. He gave me so much confidence that now i think i owe every breath of my life to him.

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I am an engineer by profession, because of him. I got this art of writing from him.

He always used to say that this world is full of mean people and after him we will realize it. HE was so damn right about it. We got to see the real faces of so many people that we thought were our own.

I cant say it loud when i miss him, i cant cry in open when i miss him. But every single day i feel his absence and our loss.

He was so young, he was so alive when he left us all behind.

When i think about all the times back then, it just reminds me how lucky i was and how helpless i am now.

The Perfect Husband, who would always come back home to his wife waiting for him just to have meals together.

The Perfect Partner who would take care of his wife like she was his world.

The PERFECT FATHER, who gave up everything along with his life just for his kids and above all a purest and most loving human who would share his love and his care with every single person he came across in his life.

He deserved to live more and live the life he was worth but god had a different plan for him. He struggled all his life and god could not let him suffer anymore because of any damn thing so he called him up. Away from us, away from everything that could hurt him in anyway. But guess what, he is still with us in someway. Always in our thoughts, in the things i say, i do.

Here are some words that are in my heart for my father, whom i cant hear anymore on phone, whom i cant see in person, who is far away from me but is right here in my heart:

I am an imperfect daughter of a perfect father,

I would give up my life to have him back rather,

He was our hope, he was our scope,,

He would carry me on his shoulder, regardless of the season regardless of the weather,

He would paint our pictures on the board,

For his kids, he gave up his freedom, he gave up his hoard,,

Every struggle, every pain he took with a smile,

World never saw a furrow on his face, he always had his troubles buried under a pile,,

He was an honest man with a pure heart,

But his heart betrayed him and made us apart,,

We cried and cried and cried to get him back,

But he smiled from above and said i am here with you,

There’s nothing you lack,,

I pray and ask him that if i’d be like him oneday,

But then i realize i am the beautiful imperfect baby of a perfect father in every way!!

 I MISS YOU PAPA!

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